Image source, Getty Images
- Author, CrowdScience programme
- Author's title, BBC World Service
In a world in which dating applications offer infinite options and the types of relationships continue to evolve, the question of whether humans are monogamous by nature charges more relevance than ever.
Alina, a Romanian resident in London, raised the same question after exploring the polyamor: the practice of having multiple intimate relationships with full knowledge and consent of all parties involved.
“I recently met someone who is polymoric and has always been,” he explains. “I just wanted to know: why did we decide on monogamy as a society?”
One way to understand our evolutionary trajectory is to study our closest primates and their reproductive strategies.
“The gorillas are polygos: a male looks up with several females,” says Kit Opie, an evolutionary biologist at the University of Bristol, in the United Kingdom.
“Therefore, group's offspring are all from the male, but of different mothers.”
But this is not an effective reproductive strategy, explains Dr. Opie, since it causes high infanticide rates. “Infanticide is a quite horrendous aspect of the life of the gorillas,” he says.
“It is when a male gorilla kills cristers of gorillas with which he has no relationship, so that his mother becomes fertile faster and he can mate with them. It is probably not an evolutionary strategy that we want to emulate.”
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But among other apes more closely related to humans, such as chimpanzees and bonobos, females developed a different evolutionary tactic. They mate with several males, which confuses paternity and reduces the probability that their young suffer damage.
Humans probably began with a similar system: mating groups with several males and several females. But about two million years ago, things changed.
“The reason was climate change,” says Opie.
“In sub -Saharan Africa, where our ancestors lived, there was a drought and large areas became savannas. The first humans needed to be in large groups to protect themselves from a large number of predators. His brains enlarged to deal with these large and complex groups, and therefore, the breastfeeding period had to extend.”
Is monogamy the best strategy?
But with too many males in large groups, it became more difficult to confuse paternity.
“In addition, females needed the help of one of those males to raise their young. So they adopted monogamy.”
According to Opie, this change was necessary not because monogamy was “better”, but because it was the only viable option.
Image source, Getty Images
Raising human offspring with large brains and slow development required a huge parental investment, more than a mother could normally manage alone.
But although research suggests that the first humans evolved towards monogamy, who opt for it usually have difficulty being faithful to a single couple.
“There are species that remain with a single couple throughout their lives and are not unfaithful, but they are quite rare,” says Opie.
“Our closest relatives who are monogamous are the gibones. But the gibbons are separated from other couples and is probably easier for the male and the female controlling who enters their small corner of the tropical jungle and who does not.”
The chemistry of links
“But when it belongs to a large group with several males and several females, such as humans, it is much more difficult to control that, see if the couple is unfaithful or not.”
From this perspective, monogamy is less a natural norm and more a survival strategy, a strategy that involves inherent defects.
So what happens in our brain when we fall in love or try to be faithful?
Sarah Blumenthal, a doctoral student in Neuroscience at Emory University (USA), studies the prairie topillos, small hairy creatures known for forming lasting couple ties, similar to those of humans.
Image source, Getty Images
Unlike their cousins, the non -monogamous topillos, the meadow topillos have high levels of oxytocin receptors in the brain reward centers.
Oxytocin, often called “hug hormone”, is released in the brain during physical contact and connection moments.
“If we experimentally alter the signaling of oxytocin in meadow, they cannot form strong links and spend less time with their partner,” says Blumenthal.
Image source, Getty Images
Humans have similar oxytocin systems, which suggests that our brains are designed to experience linking as something gratifying.
But another chemical, dopamine, could explain the changes in our desire for novelty against commitment.
During the early stages of linking, dopamine floods the brain, promoting attraction and opening. Once the link is established, dopamine patterns change.
Women with several husbands
Despite the evolutionary argument in favor of monogamy, human cultures have always shown a wide range of relationship modalities.
The anthropologist Katie Starkweather, from the University of Illinois, in Chicago, has documented more than 50 cases of polyandria (in which a woman has several husbands) worldwide, from Nepal and Tibet in Asia to parts of Africa and America.
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Although polyandria is statistically rare than polygin (a man with several wives), Starkweather warns that it should not be considered unlikely.
“Women can benefit financially from having multiple couples. If your main husband dies or has to be absent by long periods, as was the case with some North American indigenous groups, it was really necessary to have a plan B,” he says.
In some cases, non -monogamous relationships also offered genetic advantages.
“In environments where people sick a lot and die from disease, it could be very beneficial to have several children with a slightly different genetic composition,” Starkweather explains. “They could fit better with that context.”
Polyamor's perspective
But not being monogamous is not exempt from challenges. Maintaining multiple relationships requires time, emotional energy and negotiation.
It is extremely difficult to maintain several couples, both men and women. It is difficult economically and emotionally.
“I think that is the main reason why monogamy remains the most common form of marriage, according to statistics,” says Starkweather.
For Alina, monogamy did not work at all in its previous relationship. Now that it is in a polyamorous relationship, it is dealing with complex emotions.
“Jealousy can be very difficult and strong,” he admits. “But, in my case, many of them can come from feeling that they are not honest with you, and as soon as I know they are, that helps me overcome jealousy.”
Image source, Getty Images
His partner agrees: “I would say that jealousy is not the most important problem. I would say that the amount of time and effort that maintains several healthy relationships can be a bit overwhelming.”
However, both claim that it is worth it. “There are no predefined rules,” says Alina. “That forces you to have conversations that would not otherwise have, and that has strengthened our relationship.”
So are we monogue by nature? The answer seems to be yes and no.
Throughout cultures and history, humans have developed various models of relationship that adapt to their social, economic and environmental circumstances.
For some, not being monogamos offers them emotional freedom and economic flexibility.
For others, monogamy remains the simplest and most manageable way to address love.
“We humans have evolved to be flexible, and that includes the way we relate and married,” says Katie Starkweather.
“We live in all kinds of environments on the planet, and that is due to our flexibility and behavior.”
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